Lifestyle

When you will have a baby?

I got married 3 years ago. Our son is 6 months so for 2 and a half year I had my husband only for myself. And that was our conscious decision. Of course for some people we were weirdos because we did’t start trying for a baby. But You know why I get married? Because I love my husband and we wanted to spend our whole life together. For a long time I thought that is the main reason why people want to be a wife and a husband. Unfortunately that question ‘When you will have a baby?’ was our nightmare.

When-you-will-have-a-baby1

On the beginning when we said at work that we will gonna get married people was asking if I’m pregnant. Dear Lord it’s really strange that after 5 years we wanted to take our life to the next level? It was so funny because some of them said to me ‘Oh hi I heard that you are pregnant. Congratulations’. Wow I need to admit that was funny and a little creepy in the same time.

When-you-will-have-a-baby3

Finally when they realized we weren’t expecting they started asking ‘When’? So I heard from them that probably I have problem with fertilization and I stopped being polite. I said that is not their fu*king business. And they stopped. Unfortunately is not so easy to say ‘fck off’ to your family members.

The worst part was when my husband’s uncle started to touching my tummy and asking if is someone is there. And…I wanted to say ‘What the Fck. Do you have mental problems?’ but instead I only smiled and said ‘No’. What was nice our parents knew that we weren’t ready for kids so they didn’t ask. I can’t say that about our grandparents especially grandmothers. They were really crazy.

Lucky for us, that whole s*it ended up, when we found out that we were going to have a baby. That was happened one moth after we decided that we are ready to be a parents. We were happy that we were strong and didn’t want live up to everyone’s expectations. And we love our son from the moon and back.

When-you-will-have-a-baby2

I can’t understand why some people think that marriage means kids. I wasn’t egoistic (as I used to heard) I wanted to spend time with my husband. We wanted to travel, meet with our friends, go to cinemas, lie in the bed all day. We knew that there will be a day when we will feel that it’s time to try for a baby. We wanted to make that decision only for ourselves not for other people.

This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

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51 Comments

  • Reply Rainbows are too beautiful

    It’s weird isn’t it. Then after you have one you just get asked if you will have another… #dreamteam

    22 November 2016 at 18:15
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Oh yest it’s true. Probably whey will be asking quite soon about it

      24 November 2016 at 20:27
    • Reply Rainbows are too beautiful

      Back from #kcacols

      26 November 2016 at 22:26
    • Reply kid can doodle

      totally true!

      28 November 2016 at 13:45
  • Reply Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes

    People should have a baby when they are ready to devote themselves to constantly meeting the needs of a demanding small person. And not a moment sooner! #KCACOLS

    22 November 2016 at 23:50
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Amen! thank you for that comment

      24 November 2016 at 20:26
  • Reply Kerry

    It’s so true, and so annoying! And when your baby is a bit older they’ll be asking when you’re going to try for number 2! #KCACOLS

    23 November 2016 at 20:23
    • Reply ohmummymia

      I bet they will!

      24 November 2016 at 20:26
  • Reply Louise Pink Pear Bear

    Just wait, next they wi;ll be asking when you are having another! And if you have another of the same sex, whether you’ll keep trying for a girl/boy! If you have one of each, people will assume that you’ll stop! Thanks for being a part of the #bigpinklink it’s great to have you joining in.

    24 November 2016 at 13:51
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Yes I’m waiting for all that questions:D

      24 November 2016 at 20:26
  • Reply Mummy and Monkeys

    I have 3 friends from school who are married and have no children. One of those couples has been married for 6 years now. Totally no one else’s business but your own. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
    Eilidh x

    24 November 2016 at 21:28
  • Reply Laura

    I so get this, I hate people a lot of the time and when people are thoughtless like this it drives me crazy! No matter how many kids you have people always want to know when you’re having another, I’m really sensitive to this at the moment as I think I am unable to have any more so cringe when Im asked about more then get to hear their opinion on how I dont need any more anyway, people should shut up!! As for touching your tummy and asking if someones in there… his ass would be grass!!! We were also asked if we were getting married because I was pregnant, after being together 7 years… #FriYAYLinky – thanks so much for linking up, I hope to see you again this week!

    24 November 2016 at 23:06
    • Reply ohmummymia

      People can be so stupid sometimes:/ My sister lost first baby and they all the time asked her when they will try again. The problem was that they were told that they can’t have another one but she has now a little girl and we call it a miracle:D But it was really hard for her all that questions:/

      25 November 2016 at 22:52
  • Reply Barrie

    Yep! everyone wants to be in your business. Not sure why people care so much!

    24 November 2016 at 23:26
    • Reply ohmummymia

      maybe their life is so sad and boring? thanks for popping in:)

      25 November 2016 at 22:48
  • Reply Chloe

    I think it’s completely reasonable to want to spend time together without children! And well done for sticking to your guns. Chloe
    P.S So when are you having your second one? Ha Ha

    25 November 2016 at 05:08
    • Reply ohmummymia

      haha yes I’m waiting now for that question:D

      25 November 2016 at 22:47
  • Reply Elizabeth O.

    I get you. It’s like people only get married because they’re pregnant of they want to have kids. For them it’s not to open another chapter of your lives as married couple, it’s union to start a family immediately, as soon as you can. Lol. But, congratulations on surviving that and I’m sure your 6 month old baby is adorable!

    25 November 2016 at 07:01
    • Reply ohmummymia

      thank you:) Oh yes he is little cheeky monkey:)

      25 November 2016 at 22:46
  • Reply Helen

    I remember someone saying ‘we would have expected it to be you’ when my younger sister announced she was pregnant the year we got married. People can be thoughtless! Nod, smile, grit teeth. Live life at your pace, for you, no one else!

    25 November 2016 at 09:13
    • Reply ohmummymia

      That was really thoughtless:/ thanks for the comment:)

      25 November 2016 at 22:45
  • Reply The Mum Reviews

    People really need to mind their own business! I hear about a lot of people doing this, but I guess I’m lucky as people never bothered me about it. My husband and I waiting 2 years after getting married (after 7 years together beforehand) because we wanted to enjoy being married, just like you. #kcacols

    25 November 2016 at 10:40
    • Reply ohmummymia

      oh so you are really lucky:) now I’m waiting for another question ‘when you will have another baby’?:D

      25 November 2016 at 22:42
  • Reply Carol Cassara

    I know how it feels, that’s what most people would say after they hear the word “married” and it can get so annoying! You’re awesome for getting through two years of non-stop questions like that! Lol!

    25 November 2016 at 12:40
    • Reply ohmummymia

      thank you:)

      25 November 2016 at 22:41
  • Reply Tracey Bowden

    It’s so annoying when people ask you this isn’t it! There is more to marriage than babies they aren’t mutually exclusive. I hate when people ask if I’m EVER going to have more kids as apparently there is nothing worse than sticking at 1! #KCACOLS

    25 November 2016 at 13:14
  • Reply Random Musings

    I get this all the time as someone who doesn’t want children. I’m nearly 35 and people still say I’ll change my mind!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes πŸ™‚
    Debbie

    25 November 2016 at 13:33
    • Reply ohmummymia

      it’s your life, your body and your business. Some people are like big kids

      25 November 2016 at 22:40
  • Reply Lucy's Locket

    It doesn’t end. Now you’ll just be asked when you’re having another!

    25 November 2016 at 13:37
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Probably you’re right:P

      25 November 2016 at 22:33
  • Reply Mrs Morgan Plus 3

    Its weird why people do this, they also do it i find when you have a baby they then start asking if you are having another! i have 3 now and people still ask me! #KCACOLS

    25 November 2016 at 14:13
    • Reply ohmummymia

      I’m afraid that they will start asking quite soon

      25 November 2016 at 22:32
  • Reply Sharon Parry

    There is so much pressure isn’t there?! I got married at 25 and didn’t have a baby until I was 30 and was very happy! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    25 November 2016 at 14:52
    • Reply ohmummymia

      yes I will:) thank you for popping in and your comment

      25 November 2016 at 22:31
  • Reply Stephanie Jeannot

    In today’s world it is probably because we usually are effing before married. So the intiial thought might be, pregnant. Sad to think but true.

    25 November 2016 at 16:09
    • Reply ohmummymia

      unfortunately:( and I know people who are married because they get pregnant

      25 November 2016 at 22:31
  • Reply Hey Sharonoox

    Congratulation to a new additional member to your family! I could pretty much relate. Just understand that human beings are such curious breed.

    25 November 2016 at 16:34
    • Reply ohmummymia

      thank you:) oh yes they are

      25 November 2016 at 22:30
  • Reply Marka

    People are so nosy aren’t they! I was with my husband for 10 years before he proposed and before then we had so many ppl ask us when we are going to get married. Then after we married it was when we were going to have kids.

    Relentless!

    Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday x

    25 November 2016 at 23:11
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Yeah people always wanted something from us and I don’t know why:/ and yes I will be back:D

      26 November 2016 at 10:21
  • Reply Ellie

    That’s crazy that people automatically assumed you were getting married because you might be pregnant! And so rude that they felt they could speak on fertility! Congrats on your little one now! πŸ™‚

    26 November 2016 at 02:07
  • Reply Lisa Rios

    I am a mom of 2 kids and I have faced such questions of when you are going to have the 2nd baby when my first was too young! I always feel that it is every couple’s own choice which most people don’t understand, we just need to move away from them!

    26 November 2016 at 16:02
  • Reply Lianne harris

    Love this! We tried straight away but that’s cos we were getting older and I have PCOS so fertility could have been an issue but if it wasn’t for that we both said we were happy to have waited.
    I have a friend who doesn’t want kids and nearly three years of marriage down the line still gets asked. They don’t get why a primary school teacher doesn’t want kids?!?
    I hate the pressure of that next step that gets put on you. #happynowlinkup

    26 November 2016 at 18:50
  • Reply Sarah Aslett

    Haha totally agree! My parents were married for six years before they decided they wanted to have children! Esp in those days – people thought it was really weird – she has always said that many people assumed she was barren after a few years because they couldn’t comprehend that they just actually wanted to be alone together for a while!
    I, however was pregnant four months after our wedding but then we had lived together for five years #stayclassymama

    27 November 2016 at 20:11
  • Reply Enricoh Alfonzo

    Se manifique! Loved the photo journal and descriptions.
    that pic with the scrabble beads spelling forever is just amazing and has so much meaning. thought provoking post

    28 November 2016 at 11:07
  • Reply kid can doodle

    congratulations! get ready for more questions. πŸ˜‰

    28 November 2016 at 13:46
  • Reply Ana Ojha

    I don’t understand why people are so much interested in others life and ask questions which are none of their business. I literally feel like slapping those people!

    29 November 2016 at 21:20
  • Reply Zulhardy Rahim

    Hmm. I’m gonna stop asking my married childless female friends when they are gonna have a baby. Now that I think about it yeah, it’s none of my business. Seems just natural to ask though.

    30 November 2016 at 03:16
  • Reply Karlaroundtheworld | Karla

    I agree with the Marriage equals kids thing, but it should never be seen as a bad thing. I would give anything to make sure that I pass the torch to someone with my own flesh and blood. Anyway, I don’t like judgemental people regardless if they talk to me or not, let’s leave it at that.

    30 November 2016 at 13:41
  • Reply Brandon

    This makes a lot of sense actually when my wife and I had juice instead of wine at wedding everyone thought she was pregnant its not that just we dont drink

    30 November 2016 at 19:45
  • Reply One Messy Mama

    People need filters!! They ask the most unappropriated questions at times. I still don’t understand why they think its OK. It’s awesome to be married and just enjoy the time as husband and wife, before the chaos of kids. there is nothing wrong with that! #globalblogging

    1 December 2016 at 13:55
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