Family

Why so many Moms struggle with anxiety

Every day I hear that some Mom have postnatal depression or struggle with anxiety. It’s not a big surprise for me because I had the same problem. I didn’t want to admit that something is wrong with me because I was afraid I can lose my baby or someone will think I’m crazy. When my HV saw that something is not right I said I’m OK and that’s only my hormones. She wrote down ‘baby blues’. I was glad she didn’t want to talk about it and she changed the topic. But today I think I could ask for help maybe conversation or any other support could make a big difference. On the beginning of my motherhood journey, I was crying a lot, I wasn’t patient and I saw everything in dark colours. Now I can’t believe I was so depressed because my son is the loveliest baby I know.

Now I know I wanted to be too perfect. I wanted to do everything as should be. I wanted to have easy labour (as every Mom) but it was a f*cking horror. I wanted to breastfeed but after 2 months long battle I fed up. Everything went not like I planned. But it was really so bad? No, it wasn’t but when you read on the Internet how bad Mom you are because you are not breastfeeding it making you feel like a sh*t. As a first time Mom, I knew nothing about motherhood. I didn’t know how to take care of the baby. I didn’t know how often he should eat, what he should wear, how he should sleep. So I wanted to follow my instinct. But it’s so hard when you hear so many different opinions. Your Mom, aunt, neighbor, sister, friend, literally everyone has something to say.

What questions annoyed me the most?

  • Don’t you think your baby is eating too much?
  • Don’t you think your baby is too fat?
  • This time your baby should sleep through the night.
  • Why do you not prepare baby’s food by yourself?
  • Why your baby is drinking something else than milk?
  • Are you breastfeeding right?
  • Did you loose your weight?

There was much more. How you can not struggle with anxiety if everyone tries to tell you that you suck. You are not good Mom enough. They don’t want to understand that everyone is different. You don’t have a manual for babies. Everyone is parenting in a different way.

So now as a Mom who struggles with anxiety I have something to say to you. Do not listen, other people, unless they want to really help you. You don’t need to be perfect to be a good Mom. Do what is best for you and your family. If does it mean you need to stop breastfeeding, you need to share your bed or introducing solid food in jars than do it. Do not hesitate to make a decision that suits your family. You can’t make everyone happy but you can make your family happy and it’s the only thing what matters. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are not the only one. You are not the first one. But you will beat that s*it and you will be yourself again. You will cherish your motherhood as same as me.

If you have any question please do not hesitate to ask. Share your experience 🙂

 

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44 Comments

  • Reply Katie Bressler

    “You can’t make everyone happy, but you can make your family happy.” LOVE this line. Thank you for sharing your very personal experiences with us.
    Katie Bressler recently posted…Featured Five: August Edition of Inspiring BloggersMy Profile

    18 August 2017 at 22:52
  • Reply April Kitchens

    People always have something to say about any and everything. Only listen to the people that have your best interest at heart.

    18 August 2017 at 23:33
  • Reply Nicole Anderson

    It is so true that the only important thing is being happy with your family. It’s best not to listen to others that want to force their opinions and ways on you, even if they feel they are only trying to help. Often such advice is not helpful and you have to do what you know will be good for you and your own family. Great post and best wishes for your lovely family.
    Nicole Anderson recently posted…The Complete Safety Guide for Camping with DogsMy Profile

    18 August 2017 at 23:59
  • Reply Christine

    So true that so many others feel the need to share their opinions. I am a mom of two boys, ages 6.5 and a one year old. I trust my judgement and instincts. I think all moms experience some sort of anxiety because women in general want to be the best and are just amazing beings. Praise yourself mama…it will be ok!

    19 August 2017 at 02:11
  • Reply Raquel

    I used to struggle with this so much. Trying to please every one and be the perfect parent in every one’s eyes… Impossible! Theres a quote that goes something like, “There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, only a good one.” It reminds me that as long as I’m doing my best, I’m doing right by my family.

    19 August 2017 at 06:58
  • Reply Emma

    There’s no such thing as the perfect parent but there are lots of ways to be a good parent.

    19 August 2017 at 13:09
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Definitely! nobody is perfect n this world

      20 August 2017 at 16:04
  • Reply Paige

    This is part of why I hope to be able to support my friends and family who are parents, rather than becoming one myself. With social media creating shame and pressure, and things like childcare being so costly, I want to make it easier and happier for those around me 🙂

    19 August 2017 at 16:13
    • Reply ohmummymia

      You are really good friend:)

      20 August 2017 at 16:04
  • Reply Kate Parsons

    Every child is unique. Some babies can’t breastfeed. If you’re providing your child with everything he or she needs to be happy and healthy, you’re doing it right! 🙂
    Kate Parsons recently posted…Teaching An Online Course: 3 Ways to Create A CommunityMy Profile

    19 August 2017 at 20:48
    • Reply ohmummymia

      Yes! Definitely 🙂 If you giving them love, take care of them etc you are doing your best:)

      20 August 2017 at 16:03
  • Reply Flossie McCowald | SuperMomHacks

    You are so right – first time mamas have NO CLUE what they are doing (and it’s hardly our fault!), but tons of unsolicited advice and well-meaning but non-constructive criticism are really hurtful, and often do more to harm the new mama than build up her confidence. Thanks for writing this.

    19 August 2017 at 21:09
    • Reply ohmummymia

      No problem:) I’m here to help 😀

      20 August 2017 at 16:02
  • Reply Kitty

    This USB such a great post… I am not dealing with it but I have some friends who are… Thanks for posting

    20 August 2017 at 04:34
    • Reply ohmummymia

      I’m here to help other Moms:)

      20 August 2017 at 16:00
  • Reply Sharon S. Lopez

    Lack of knowledge on the part of the mother can lead to having fear of what might happen. Our own family can be a source of strength for us. Additionally, learning the basic can help us ease the feeling of anxiety because we know that we have enough knowledge on how we could address things.
    Sharon S. Lopez recently posted…How to Withdraw From Perfect Money to Philippine BankMy Profile

    20 August 2017 at 14:52
    • Reply ohmummymia

      You’re right!

      20 August 2017 at 16:01
  • Reply Libby

    I was very lucky that I did not suffer from post partum depression. I was exhausted – especially with the last 3 or 4 (we have 10 kids). My mother-in-law drove me crazy. She was always asking “are you SURE that they have had enough”. She bottle fed her boys, and it really bothered her that I breast fed all of mine. You just have to take one day at a time, and know in your heart that you know what’s best for your babies!

    20 August 2017 at 20:31
    • Reply ohmummymia

      exactly! only Mom know best what is good for her baby 🙂

      20 August 2017 at 20:39
  • Reply Laura

    You gotta please yourself. If you and your baby are happy and healthy then that’s the main thing!

    20 August 2017 at 21:17
  • Reply Viv at My Snapshot Stories

    It is a never ending saga – you’re right everyone has something to say. But each one’s journey is different , each Mom is unique & so is each child.

    20 August 2017 at 22:17
  • Reply Jillian Schleger

    Only those in the car with you on your journey through life have a right to offer an opinion. Keep doing what you feel in your heart is right! Bless you for caring and having such a huge heart! <3

    21 August 2017 at 00:12
  • Reply Neha

    This is so very true. I have sailed in the same boat. Sometimes you start doubting yourself. But i guess its best to believe in yourself and your parenting.

    21 August 2017 at 02:05
  • Reply Mary May Madayag Arcenal

    I’ve had struggles like this before when I gave birth to my son. But I realized, as a mom, that I should brush off unsolicited advice and go with my instinct when it comes to what’s best for my son. And it really helps to surround yourself with TRULY supportive people.

    21 August 2017 at 03:23
  • Reply Marlene Wetch

    I think part of being a mother is living with some level of depression and anxiety. My anxiety stems from my children being away from me, being places like school make me loose my cool. I am learning to manage my anxiety but I believe I will always be a work in progress. I also wrote about my experience on my site.

    21 August 2017 at 21:56
  • Reply Milton Goh

    It’s so true, it can get really confusing when everyone is trying to give you an opinion on how you should be a parent, but as you said, only consider listening to those who truly love and care for you!

    22 August 2017 at 04:10
  • Reply Amila

    Anxiety is so common in most moms.I guess I also went through a period with lot of stress and anxiety.But later,I adjusted.:)

    22 August 2017 at 07:01
  • Reply David Elliott

    I know that my ex suffered from a bit of postpartum depression. It would have been good to know that she wasn’t the only one going through her struggles. Thanks for putting this out there for people struggling.
    David Elliott recently posted…Solar Superstition – The Fake History Or Places To See The Solar Eclipse In Southern CaliforniaMy Profile

    22 August 2017 at 07:34
  • Reply Gideon

    I did publish a post on “Never live your life to please human”. We should always do that which is right and also follow our instinct regardless of what anyone thinks or feels.

    22 August 2017 at 09:06
  • Reply Rebecca Swenor

    This is a great post for those moms who struggle with anxiety and those who don’t. It is so important to all moms to know they every parent is different just like every child is different. You don’t have to follow what your friends or other moms do because you are the one who knows your baby in my opinion. Thanks for sharing your story.

    22 August 2017 at 10:44
  • Reply Angela Bethea

    There is no perfect Mom. We all have our ups and low moments on being a parent. Trust your gut.

    22 August 2017 at 15:22
  • Reply Cassandra Rose

    I’m not a parent but I definitely have issues with anxiety and stress. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have people try to critique you or tell you how to be a better parent. You know what’s best for your family; listen to your own heart and the rest will follow.

    22 August 2017 at 17:40
  • Reply Sarah

    Anxiety in general is an important topic. No one is perfect and you just have to always try and do your best 🙂

    22 August 2017 at 19:17
  • Reply rain

    guess what. my youngest turned 21 yesterday and i STILL get anxious when it comes to my kids. It NEVER goes away…fyi…lol.

    22 August 2017 at 20:28
  • Reply aareeba

    This is so true , i have been in the same situation and now I keep suggesting new mommy to be about what to do and what not. I guess i should simply show them this post

    22 August 2017 at 20:44
  • Reply Shell

    None of us are perfect parents we just do the best we can. You are doing a great job and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

    23 August 2017 at 04:06
  • Reply Katie

    Encouraging support is so helpful. I also pray and surrender my concerns to my Creator, which is such a blessing. “He will give you perfect peace…”
    Katie recently posted…10 Sensory Slime Recipes You Have to TryMy Profile

    23 August 2017 at 06:19
  • Reply Chloe

    Hi, thanks for sharing this honest post, there is no such this great as a perfect mum and people should be ther to help and support you nort criticise #Twinkly Tuesday

    23 August 2017 at 06:38
  • Reply Nina

    I absolutely love this post! People can just get too personal sometimes and ask too many questions. I don’t like that at all! You just need to do what’s right for you and your family!

    23 August 2017 at 09:58
  • Reply Belle

    That is so true! Love this post! There is TOO much pressure on us to make everything right! But really there’s no one way to do everything especially when it comes to kids. You do what you think is right for you and your family, not because someone told you so.

    Belle | http://www.OneAwesomeMomma.com
    Belle recently posted…Fall Must-Haves Under $25My Profile

    23 August 2017 at 15:08
  • Reply Emily | The Multitasking Mom

    There is no such thing as being a perfect mom, but there are a lot of ways to be a good mom. We just do our best!

    23 August 2017 at 16:18
  • Reply Mrs Mummy Harris

    I’m amazed at the amount of mums who struggled in the first year with their emotions. You are right that there are too many people making judgement and not supporting mums. They say queens should support each other, but they should also not ask questions that aren’t starting with “can I help you do ……..”
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

    24 August 2017 at 20:45
  • Reply Wynne Katherine

    Wow, it never occurred to me that moms also struggle with anxieties as well until I read this blog. But there is no such thing as being perfect, being imperfect is what made you, you.

    25 August 2017 at 00:40
  • Reply Lisa (mummascribbles)

    Yes! People and their questions can make us feel like crap. I went to the health visitor the other day and mentioned our slow weaning progress and she basically told me to stop breastfeeding. But that would make my boy very unhappy and whilst I will slowly reduce it, I am in no way going to just stop giving him what he wants! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    28 August 2017 at 21:29
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