It’s normal for parents to be proud of their child’s miles stones. The first step, first word, first smile and you want to tell about it to the whole world. Yep, I understand that because I have the same. But there is one thing which is making me really pissed: ‘comparing’.
Some Moms can be really b*tchy when they are doing it. There is nothing wrong in saying that your baby is amazing. But some Moms can’t say it in a proper way, without exalting. Why do I want to talk about it? A few days ago I was doing a shopping when I heard a strange conversation between two Moms.
Why do I want to talk about it? A few days ago I was doing a shopping when I heard a strange conversation between two Moms. I will try to describe it to you:
First Mom ‘Hi, you know my baby boy starts talking already’
Second Mom ‘Oh really? Yeah he should because my daughter was talking a lot in his age’
FM ‘I don’t bother about it because he is really smart, he understands a lot and he is very creative’
SM ‘My girl is same. She is so intelligent and she is starting to read books. And you know she is only 3 years old’
FM ‘My son prefers to draw and paint. He is also very musical’
SM ‘Oh yeah my daughter won a drawing competition in her nursery. I’m so proud of her’
FM ‘You are right your daughter is best in everything. My boy can’t be compared with her’
I knew that she didn’t think that for real but she didn’t want to be in that ridiculous conversation anymore. Every time she wanted to say something nice about her son she hears that is nothing special because her friend’s daughter was much better in everything.
The only thing I wanted to say to that Second Mom was ‘sh#$% the f#$% up. Why you can’t say something like Oh, brilliant looks like your son is really smart, he looks like a really good boy’ No, she made that First Mom feels like her son will never be as good as SM’s daughter. There is nothing wrong in being proud of your kids. But there is a difference between boastfulness and expressions of healthy pride.
Anyway, comparing kids is also the stupidest idea ever. Everyone is different. I’ve never met two people who would be identical or develop in the same way. Two children will have different talents, interests, develop at different rates and have different strengths.
For example, most girls will start talking before boys in the same age. Because during infancy the left hemisphere (the brain’s language center for most people) develops before the right for girls whereas the order is reversed for boys. So you really don’t need to be afraid if your son is not starting to talk at the same time when your friend’s daughter is.
For me when Moms starting to comparing their kids it’s like a big market. Don’t know like you but I don’t want to be a part of this. Nobody is perfect, you are not so your kids are not as well. You need to understand that and period. Remember that If your child sees you comparing him to others, he’ll probably learn to do it himself. Plus If you tell your child he should be like someone else, it means you don’t like the way he is. You would prefer him to be like someone else. So you can easily destroy is self-esteem.
When some mom is telling you stories of how amazing and wonderful their child is, or is undermining your child’s achievements try not to get involved. Simply realize that her boasting is more likely about her insecurities as a mother than it is about you or your child.