Family

My baby is better than yours!

Who’s better?

It’s normal for parents to be proud of their child’s miles stones. The first step, first word, first smile and you want to tell about it to the whole world. Yep, I understand that because I have the same. But there is one thing which is making me really pissed: ‘comparing’. 

Some Moms can be really b*tchy when they are doing it. There is nothing wrong in saying that your baby is amazing. But some Moms can’t say it in a proper way, without exalting. Why do I want to talk about it? A few days ago I was doing a shopping when I heard a strange conversation between two Moms.

Why do I want to talk about it? A few days ago I was doing a shopping when I heard a strange conversation between two Moms. I will try to describe it to you:

First Mom ‘Hi, you know my baby boy starts talking already’

Second Mom ‘Oh really? Yeah he should because my daughter was talking a lot in his age’

FM ‘I don’t bother about it because he is really smart, he understands a lot and he is very creative’

SM ‘My girl is same. She is so intelligent and she is starting to read books. And you know she is only 3 years old’

FM ‘My son prefers to draw and paint. He is also very musical’

SM ‘Oh yeah my daughter won a drawing competition in her nursery. I’m so proud of her’

FM ‘You are right your daughter is best in everything. My boy can’t be compared with her’

I knew that she didn’t think that for real but she didn’t want to be in that ridiculous conversation anymore. Every time she wanted to say something nice about her son she hears that is nothing special because her friend’s daughter was much better in everything.

Proud/boastfulness

The only thing I wanted to say to that Second Mom was ‘sh#$% the f#$% up. Why you can’t say something like Oh, brilliant looks like your son is really smart, he looks like a really good boy’ No, she made that First Mom feels like her son will never be as good as SM’s daughter. There is nothing wrong in being proud of your kids. But there is a difference between boastfulness and expressions of healthy pride.

Anyway, comparing kids is also the stupidest idea ever. Everyone is different. I’ve never met two people who would be identical or develop in the same way. Two children will have different talents, interests, develop at different rates and have different strengths.

For example, most girls will start talking before boys in the same age. Because during infancy the left hemisphere (the brain’s language center for most people) develops before the right for girls whereas the order is reversed for boys. So you really don’t need to be afraid if your son is not starting to talk at the same time when your friend’s daughter is.

For me when Moms starting to comparing their kids it’s like a big market. Don’t know like you but I don’t want to be a part of this. Nobody is perfect, you are not so your kids are not as well. You need to understand that and period. Remember that If your child sees you comparing him to others, he’ll probably learn to do it himself. Plus If you tell your child he should be like someone else, it means you don’t like the way he is. You would prefer him to be like someone else. So you can easily destroy is self-esteem.

When some mom is telling you stories of how amazing and wonderful their child is, or is undermining your child’s achievements try not to get involved. Simply realize that her boasting is more likely about her insecurities as a mother than it is about you or your child.

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17 Comments

  • Reply Jenn JG

    YES! I cant stand the comparing! Every child is different and will progress at their own speed. My youngest was delayed, didn’t walk till almost 3 and I cant even begin to tell you the things people would say to be. The worst was I don’t think they even realized.

    5 October 2017 at 22:42
  • Reply Angie

    I can’t stand moms who are constantly comparing. Every child is different and I want to enjoy my baby as a baby and worry about how smart she really is once she starts school. Right now I’m just enjoying watching her discover new things and learn on her own pace. No need to compare her to any other child.
    Angie recently posted…Mexican Cauliflower Rice Burrito BowlsMy Profile

    6 October 2017 at 01:46
  • Reply Carmen

    You are so right I had my forth 6 weeks before my sister had her first and anytime I say what my daughter is doing she always has to say what her daughter is doing better. We joke that her daughter must have received a paid scholarship to Yale by now.

    6 October 2017 at 02:12
  • Reply Rachel

    I sometimes wonder if I try so hard to not think my kids are the greatest that I sell them short. I just don’t want to be in competition all the time

    6 October 2017 at 02:58
  • Reply Bekah S

    Sooo true. The ridiculous competitiveness between moms about their children is way overboard!! Let’s be more concerned with who’s raising a well rounded, kind, courageous child than who’s doing what first! 🙂

    6 October 2017 at 03:11
  • Reply Faith

    This is so true. Especially, the effect this act of comparing has on our children, who will take on the habit and possibly even mold their own perception of self around our comparisons! We should build each other up as moms, we are all raising little people and can spare some love and support for one another. Thank you for sharing!

    6 October 2017 at 05:19
  • Reply Kate

    The competition, as well as the ‘humble-brag’ is all too real among parents these days. It’s such an annoying issue, I try to avoid the moms that like to brag about their kiddos.

    7 October 2017 at 02:55
  • Reply Alana - Burnished Chaos

    Well said. I hate the whole comparison thing. Every child is different and will develop different skills in different orders at different ages. Even within the same family. My children hit all the usual ‘milestones’ at widely different ages and do better in different areas. Does any of that matter? Not one bit. They are both their own unique selves with unique talents and personalities and I wouldn’t change a thing about either of them. Nor would I play the comparison game, between them or anyone else.
    Thanks so much for linking up with #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time x

    10 October 2017 at 22:21
  • Reply Life as Mum

    Ah yes! It’s so sad that there are so many mums out there that just compare. We should be supporting and praising eachother. I had a friend like this once who constantly tried to ‘up one’ if I ever mentioned my kids achievng a new milestone.

    11 October 2017 at 13:42
  • Reply Amie

    This is so true. My cousin & his GF have a son around 3 weeks younger than mine and they’re constantly trying to ‘big up’ their son making out like he’s far better than mine. It’s really stupid and drives me nuts. In reality my son hit all of his milestones very early just like my daughter so we just have to try and ignore it and in fact we just avoid them as much as possible.
    I agree that it has to do with their own personal insecurities and they often say that my son is ugly and really mean things that just disgusts me. To put children up against each other like that is terrible. Also according to them my children are ‘pussies’ because unlike their 1year old son, my 1 year old son and 2 year old daughter don’t bite/hit or snatch toys off of others because their parents laugh and think it’s acceptable.
    Sorry for the little rant haha, this subject just really frustrates me! #KCACOLS

    12 October 2017 at 11:15
  • Reply Helen

    I hate the whole comparing thing, it’s hard not to do it in your mind when you are wondering why your child isn’t doing something, but to make someone else feel inadequate and boast is totally out of order. They develop at their own rates doing different things at different times. x
    Thanks for joining #KCACOLS

    12 October 2017 at 12:25
  • Reply five little doves

    Oh this is so true! Not just between other people but between parents with their own children too. Every baby is different, it’s a fact of life and something many forget! #kcacols

    12 October 2017 at 13:12
  • Reply Amy

    Some parents can’t help it can they?! They just have to boast!
    #kcacols

    12 October 2017 at 14:46
  • Reply Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes

    My child is 11 and still not sitting or walking. He has missed every milestone going but none of that matters, because he is mine and he is simply awesome. There was a time when it got to me, but not any more. Sometimes you just have to avoid some people. #KCACOLS
    Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes recently posted…What is a Changing Places toilet?My Profile

    12 October 2017 at 17:02
  • Reply Kelly | and Jacob makes three

    Totally agree. I hate the comparing! They are all so different #kcacols

    12 October 2017 at 17:40
  • Reply Maria

    Yes completely agree everyone is different and we all do things at different times. Mean competitiveness and making others feel less inferior is not on. #KCACOLS
    Maria recently posted…Review: Appy Kids Co + giveawayMy Profile

    15 October 2017 at 10:48
  • Reply Lisa Pomerantz

    Some parents can’t contain themselves – and some need to be contained! #KCACOLS xoxo
    Lisa Pomerantz recently posted…Finding the laughterMy Profile

    16 October 2017 at 21:01
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