I thought that I know what is the best for my baby but apparently I don’t. Everyone has some ‘good’ advice how you should feed your little one, what to wear on him or even how to hold him in your arms. Generally I wanted to say ‘F*ck off my baby my business’. Obviously I’m answering like that only in my head because most of this people are my friends and family. What is quite bizarre. They should support me not pointing every fails etc.
I need it!
Everything what I’m writing about (in this post) happened to me on my holiday in my country. I was visiting my family for 3 weeks. They don’t see LP every day. So when they had that opportunity started to pointing out everything whats is bad. What’s quite funny I even didn’t ask them for that. You know I’m a MOTHER. I know my son and his needs.
On the beginning when my sister started saying that my son has too small clothes or his nappy is too tight I only laughed. Does he really should wear clothes for 9-12 month if he barely finished 5? Or maybe his nappy should be so loose that his poo will be always on his back (like with my sister’s daughter)? Why people need to putting their nose in others business?
Than they started to see problem in LP’s reflux. I don’t know where is a problem if he is not loosing his weight and he is perfectly fine with it. But they force me to ask GP if is normal. Surprise surprise yes it is. He can overflowing till 6 months and some babies even longer. Anyway it should be mine problem that I need to change his clothes so often or cleaning his play mat yeah? Obviously it’s my all family’s problem;/
They really tested my patience when started pointing my Little One’s weight. Ok he is not the slimmest baby in the world but I believe that he is not the fattest one. I need to admit that he likes to eat but I didn’t overfeed him what was pointed to me;/ He is quite long as his age and very strong so I don’t see anything wrong that he is little chubby man.
After that couple of weeks I was started feeling like bad mother. But than I looked on my son: perfectly healthy and happy baby who is smiling to me every single day. And I realized that as a new Mum I’m doing everything what I can! Please don’t let other people make you feel like shitty Mum! You are everything what your baby need. And remember that only you and baby’s Daddy can decided about your little precious.
Let me know in comments if you had to listen other’s shi*ty advice and how you reacted to them.
40 Comments
Yes unfortunately a lot of people think they are so called experts on ‘our’ babies, our children, our marriages, our weight and even the way we should wear our hair. People will always dish out advice we don’t need or desire to hear, even my health nurse told me my daughter was too chubby when all she was having was her milk, what was I to do starve her? My paediatrician assured me she was perfectly healthy. Just ignore them! #anythinggoes
10 October 2016 at 20:50Amen! I will ignore them because I need to be happy Mummy for my boy:)
10 October 2016 at 22:04It used to drive me mad when I was breastfeeding and people (older relatives) kept suggesting I should give him water as he might not need another feed. He was tiny and needed to be fed. #AnythingGoes
10 October 2016 at 21:19Oh I hate peoples “advice”. You know your baby and people need to keep their opinions to themselves! I let it all go over my head or just nod along and then do the complete opposite haha!
#MarvMondays
10 October 2016 at 22:37On the beginning I was trying do some thing like they said but I understood that only my opinion is important and start doing again everything on my way
11 October 2016 at 14:11Oy, I just don’t get it, honestly.
11 October 2016 at 00:45As moms, we ask for advice if we need it. We know our kids better than ANYONE else and, while there may be ‘experts’ on parenting and children, I am the expert of MY CHILD.
I’ve just learned to smile and nod. Take the advice that you want, and ignore the rest. You’re doing great <3 #KCACOLS
I ignore shitty advice, half the time I interrupt when people are trying to give it! #bigpinklink
11 October 2016 at 02:03People give so much unsolicited advice, enough to make your head spin cause it all contradicts each other anyway. Mama gut, that’s all we need.
11 October 2016 at 03:06#KCACOLS
I think it is worse with family you visit. I live in Holland and my family are in the UK. I feel this too, it’s like they have to cram in all their advice when you’re there. It’s so annoying! I have a visit by date now (a bit like a sell by date) it’s the number of days I can cope without exploding! Good luck! #EatSleepBlogRT
11 October 2016 at 07:37My next visit is on Christmas! I hope they will be better than now
11 October 2016 at 14:10Oh, what about those random strangers whom you have never ever met now want to give you some advice? Thanks but no thanks. I usually just pretend I didn’t hear anything and just move along to something else. People should keep advice to themselves unless asked. Simple. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink
11 October 2016 at 10:04I agree! I stopped bother of it:)
11 October 2016 at 14:09I don’t know why some people think its ok to offer you advice that you haven’t asked for when you have a baby. Its like a green light and out it all comes. It can be particularly hard for first time mums having too much advice and conflicting advice. Just nod politely and move on! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x
11 October 2016 at 14:37I hope I never ever do this, as it drove me mad when my son was little. So many people – relatives and pure strangers – would wade in with their opinions and advice. But when it comes down to it, I really do believe that you know best. It’s you who spends most time with your child and you who knows them best. I eventually got fed up with just nodding along and smiling so instead I’d just say ‘that doesn’t work for us’ and the conversation would move on. Eventually the advice stopped – not sure whether because of that, or just because my son got older and people just like to wade in with their baby advice! Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
11 October 2016 at 18:25Everyone loves to give their 10 pence worth. People forget they should wait to be asked their opinion.
11 October 2016 at 19:56#BigPinkLink
So true! There is far to much unsolicited advice out there for parents, and mainly from people who just don’t understand your baby.
11 October 2016 at 20:03#MarvMondays
everyone likes to stick their oar in don’t they. I think it comes with being a new parent! I felt like I couldn’t win sometimes either. just go with your instinct : 0)
12 October 2016 at 12:32Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday!
I think people just get carried away when there’s a baby about. I think their intentions are good, but they just go about it the wrong way. They should really wait to be asked for advice, rather than just wade in! #KCACOLS
12 October 2016 at 14:39Three kids in and I’ve had a lot of shit advice. From telling me off for not putting shoes on my babies that can’t walk yet, to telling me not to feed my 3yr old too many green beans because they are fattening… thanks, I will curb the vegetable intake immediately. hahaha #brillblogposts
12 October 2016 at 22:58That thing about shoes? I heard as well…
13 October 2016 at 19:06So true! The worst is when it comes from people who aren’t even parents! I found my mother in law the worst for unwanted advice, it felt like criticism even though she was trying to be helpful, and it just enraged me!!! #Brilliantblogpost
13 October 2016 at 09:24oh yeah it enraged me as well! I told them I will not come next time if they will not change their attitude
13 October 2016 at 19:07absolutely love that babygrow! people just cant help themselves…esp if youre in public and the baby is crying, they need to tell you hes tired or hungry. Ya dont say?? #brillblogposts
13 October 2016 at 09:31or what’s more they will tell you that you can’t take care properly of your baby
13 October 2016 at 19:09Oh it’s so hard when people start making you doubt yourself. I don’t know why they feel the need to interfere and offer advice when it’s not been asked for! x #KCACOLS
13 October 2016 at 14:46Great post, and I totally needed that babygrow when my little one was smaller! The worst are the armchair experts; they’re experts at parenting but they’ve never had kids! #KCACOLS
13 October 2016 at 21:23Most people’s advice is a load of outdated rubbish!! Just got to let it wash over you and do what you think is best! #KCACOLS
13 October 2016 at 23:01Loved this! I try not to let it get to me if others weigh in with their opinions, but sometimes it’s difficult. It’s good to be reminded that ‘mum knows best’ 🙂
13 October 2016 at 23:42Thanks for a great post that made me laugh!
I’m happy that I made you smile:)
14 October 2016 at 11:01I’ve never understood why people are always so happy to give advice when it is not needed – or judge for that matter! As if you don’t worry enough as mum anyway about things, you certainly don’t need people questioning what you do!
My eldest was a big baby – he was always really chubby and I worried he was over eating etc – he is now a skinny 6 year old who lost all his baby fat when he started walking so if you little one is anything like mine there is nothing to worry about. Babies are much cuter when they are chubby anyway!
Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday x
14 October 2016 at 09:51Of course for me he is the cutest one:D I think the same when he will start walking he will loose everything so I don’t worry about so much
14 October 2016 at 10:59I hate having to listen to others advice on how to raise my daughter. Even now she is 10 I still get it! Should she be eating that much, do you think she should be wearing that and my ultimate favourite… isn’t she too old to be playing with dolls now grrrr drives me mad #kcacols
14 October 2016 at 15:36haha too old? What she should do being 10 year old girl? smoking cigarettes?
14 October 2016 at 15:59People absolutely love offering their advice, but at the end of the day we are the only one’s who know what’s best for our babies. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo
14 October 2016 at 18:48Everyone always thinks they know best and I appreciate it’s their advice based on experience but I totally get why it’s irritating!
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
Janet
15 October 2016 at 00:54It’s really tough but I think everyone feels like they have a right to say something – especially if you’re a relatively new mum and their kids are raised. But you can’t win – people will always find something they would do differently. Just be confident in your parenting and ignore them! #KCACOLS
15 October 2016 at 09:44Constant unwanted advice! But isn’t that a part of parenting? To get given mountains of advice you haven’t asked for and then wade through it, blissfully ignore the majority and work out your own route?! #brilliantblogposts
15 October 2016 at 23:04I have learnt to nod at people now and just smile sweetly. I have been given all sorts of ‘helpful’ advise from sticking my child in the back garden in their pram all day to giving my teething baby brandy ! #AnythingGoes
16 October 2016 at 06:51Don’t you just love families!! I’m lucky that my parents don’t really get involved in how I raise my boy but there have been times when my aunts try to do things that I don’t like and like you it always happens when we’re back home in Cyprus! Our main issue is the fact that I still haven’t given baby K chocolate or juices, when we were away my aunts constantly tried giving him chocolate and low and behold he didn’t like it – one point for me yay – it was frustrating though. I don’t mind people giving advice as long as it makes sense but if I don’t choose to use it then leave well alone x #MarvMondays
16 October 2016 at 09:04Eurgh I hate people who don’t have any good advice. I just want to stop them in their tracks and tell them to take a pill of shut the F up!
17 October 2016 at 20:41They say that the best parent is the one without kids, but it also seems to be those who’s parenting skills are to be desired!
#brillblogposts