I got married 3 years ago. Our son is 6 months so for 2 and a half year I had my husband only for myself. And that was our conscious decision. Of course for some people we were weirdos because we did’t start trying for a baby. But You know why I get married? Because I love my husband and we wanted to spend our whole life together. For a long time I thought that is the main reason why people want to be a wife and a husband. Unfortunately that question ‘When you will have a baby?’ was our nightmare.
On the beginning when we said at work that we will gonna get married people was asking if I’m pregnant. Dear Lord it’s really strange that after 5 years we wanted to take our life to the next level? It was so funny because some of them said to me ‘Oh hi I heard that you are pregnant. Congratulations’. Wow I need to admit that was funny and a little creepy in the same time.
Finally when they realized we weren’t expecting they started asking ‘When’? So I heard from them that probably I have problem with fertilization and I stopped being polite. I said that is not their fu*king business. And they stopped. Unfortunately is not so easy to say ‘fck off’ to your family members.
The worst part was when my husband’s uncle started to touching my tummy and asking if is someone is there. And…I wanted to say ‘What the Fck. Do you have mental problems?’ but instead I only smiled and said ‘No’. What was nice our parents knew that we weren’t ready for kids so they didn’t ask. I can’t say that about our grandparents especially grandmothers. They were really crazy.
Lucky for us, that whole s*it ended up, when we found out that we were going to have a baby. That was happened one moth after we decided that we are ready to be a parents. We were happy that we were strong and didn’t want live up to everyone’s expectations. And we love our son from the moon and back.
I can’t understand why some people think that marriage means kids. I wasn’t egoistic (as I used to heard) I wanted to spend time with my husband. We wanted to travel, meet with our friends, go to cinemas, lie in the bed all day. We knew that there will be a day when we will feel that it’s time to try for a baby. We wanted to make that decision only for ourselves not for other people.
This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com
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51 Comments
It’s weird isn’t it. Then after you have one you just get asked if you will have another… #dreamteam
22 November 2016 at 18:15Oh yest it’s true. Probably whey will be asking quite soon about it
24 November 2016 at 20:27Back from #kcacols
26 November 2016 at 22:26totally true!
28 November 2016 at 13:45People should have a baby when they are ready to devote themselves to constantly meeting the needs of a demanding small person. And not a moment sooner! #KCACOLS
22 November 2016 at 23:50Amen! thank you for that comment
24 November 2016 at 20:26It’s so true, and so annoying! And when your baby is a bit older they’ll be asking when you’re going to try for number 2! #KCACOLS
23 November 2016 at 20:23I bet they will!
24 November 2016 at 20:26Just wait, next they wi;ll be asking when you are having another! And if you have another of the same sex, whether you’ll keep trying for a girl/boy! If you have one of each, people will assume that you’ll stop! Thanks for being a part of the #bigpinklink it’s great to have you joining in.
24 November 2016 at 13:51Yes I’m waiting for all that questions:D
24 November 2016 at 20:26I have 3 friends from school who are married and have no children. One of those couples has been married for 6 years now. Totally no one else’s business but your own. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
24 November 2016 at 21:28Eilidh x
I so get this, I hate people a lot of the time and when people are thoughtless like this it drives me crazy! No matter how many kids you have people always want to know when you’re having another, I’m really sensitive to this at the moment as I think I am unable to have any more so cringe when Im asked about more then get to hear their opinion on how I dont need any more anyway, people should shut up!! As for touching your tummy and asking if someones in there… his ass would be grass!!! We were also asked if we were getting married because I was pregnant, after being together 7 years… #FriYAYLinky – thanks so much for linking up, I hope to see you again this week!
24 November 2016 at 23:06People can be so stupid sometimes:/ My sister lost first baby and they all the time asked her when they will try again. The problem was that they were told that they can’t have another one but she has now a little girl and we call it a miracle:D But it was really hard for her all that questions:/
25 November 2016 at 22:52Yep! everyone wants to be in your business. Not sure why people care so much!
24 November 2016 at 23:26maybe their life is so sad and boring? thanks for popping in:)
25 November 2016 at 22:48I think it’s completely reasonable to want to spend time together without children! And well done for sticking to your guns. Chloe
25 November 2016 at 05:08P.S So when are you having your second one? Ha Ha
haha yes I’m waiting now for that question:D
25 November 2016 at 22:47I get you. It’s like people only get married because they’re pregnant of they want to have kids. For them it’s not to open another chapter of your lives as married couple, it’s union to start a family immediately, as soon as you can. Lol. But, congratulations on surviving that and I’m sure your 6 month old baby is adorable!
25 November 2016 at 07:01thank you:) Oh yes he is little cheeky monkey:)
25 November 2016 at 22:46I remember someone saying ‘we would have expected it to be you’ when my younger sister announced she was pregnant the year we got married. People can be thoughtless! Nod, smile, grit teeth. Live life at your pace, for you, no one else!
25 November 2016 at 09:13That was really thoughtless:/ thanks for the comment:)
25 November 2016 at 22:45People really need to mind their own business! I hear about a lot of people doing this, but I guess I’m lucky as people never bothered me about it. My husband and I waiting 2 years after getting married (after 7 years together beforehand) because we wanted to enjoy being married, just like you. #kcacols
25 November 2016 at 10:40oh so you are really lucky:) now I’m waiting for another question ‘when you will have another baby’?:D
25 November 2016 at 22:42I know how it feels, that’s what most people would say after they hear the word “married” and it can get so annoying! You’re awesome for getting through two years of non-stop questions like that! Lol!
25 November 2016 at 12:40thank you:)
25 November 2016 at 22:41It’s so annoying when people ask you this isn’t it! There is more to marriage than babies they aren’t mutually exclusive. I hate when people ask if I’m EVER going to have more kids as apparently there is nothing worse than sticking at 1! #KCACOLS
25 November 2016 at 13:14I get this all the time as someone who doesn’t want children. I’m nearly 35 and people still say I’ll change my mind!
25 November 2016 at 13:33Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
it’s your life, your body and your business. Some people are like big kids
25 November 2016 at 22:40It doesn’t end. Now you’ll just be asked when you’re having another!
25 November 2016 at 13:37Probably you’re right:P
25 November 2016 at 22:33Its weird why people do this, they also do it i find when you have a baby they then start asking if you are having another! i have 3 now and people still ask me! #KCACOLS
25 November 2016 at 14:13I’m afraid that they will start asking quite soon
25 November 2016 at 22:32There is so much pressure isn’t there?! I got married at 25 and didn’t have a baby until I was 30 and was very happy! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
25 November 2016 at 14:52yes I will:) thank you for popping in and your comment
25 November 2016 at 22:31In today’s world it is probably because we usually are effing before married. So the intiial thought might be, pregnant. Sad to think but true.
25 November 2016 at 16:09unfortunately:( and I know people who are married because they get pregnant
25 November 2016 at 22:31Congratulation to a new additional member to your family! I could pretty much relate. Just understand that human beings are such curious breed.
25 November 2016 at 16:34thank you:) oh yes they are
25 November 2016 at 22:30People are so nosy aren’t they! I was with my husband for 10 years before he proposed and before then we had so many ppl ask us when we are going to get married. Then after we married it was when we were going to have kids.
Relentless!
Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday x
25 November 2016 at 23:11Yeah people always wanted something from us and I don’t know why:/ and yes I will be back:D
26 November 2016 at 10:21That’s crazy that people automatically assumed you were getting married because you might be pregnant! And so rude that they felt they could speak on fertility! Congrats on your little one now! 🙂
26 November 2016 at 02:07I am a mom of 2 kids and I have faced such questions of when you are going to have the 2nd baby when my first was too young! I always feel that it is every couple’s own choice which most people don’t understand, we just need to move away from them!
26 November 2016 at 16:02Love this! We tried straight away but that’s cos we were getting older and I have PCOS so fertility could have been an issue but if it wasn’t for that we both said we were happy to have waited.
26 November 2016 at 18:50I have a friend who doesn’t want kids and nearly three years of marriage down the line still gets asked. They don’t get why a primary school teacher doesn’t want kids?!?
I hate the pressure of that next step that gets put on you. #happynowlinkup
Haha totally agree! My parents were married for six years before they decided they wanted to have children! Esp in those days – people thought it was really weird – she has always said that many people assumed she was barren after a few years because they couldn’t comprehend that they just actually wanted to be alone together for a while!
27 November 2016 at 20:11I, however was pregnant four months after our wedding but then we had lived together for five years #stayclassymama
Se manifique! Loved the photo journal and descriptions.
28 November 2016 at 11:07that pic with the scrabble beads spelling forever is just amazing and has so much meaning. thought provoking post
congratulations! get ready for more questions. 😉
28 November 2016 at 13:46I don’t understand why people are so much interested in others life and ask questions which are none of their business. I literally feel like slapping those people!
29 November 2016 at 21:20Hmm. I’m gonna stop asking my married childless female friends when they are gonna have a baby. Now that I think about it yeah, it’s none of my business. Seems just natural to ask though.
30 November 2016 at 03:16I agree with the Marriage equals kids thing, but it should never be seen as a bad thing. I would give anything to make sure that I pass the torch to someone with my own flesh and blood. Anyway, I don’t like judgemental people regardless if they talk to me or not, let’s leave it at that.
30 November 2016 at 13:41This makes a lot of sense actually when my wife and I had juice instead of wine at wedding everyone thought she was pregnant its not that just we dont drink
30 November 2016 at 19:45People need filters!! They ask the most unappropriated questions at times. I still don’t understand why they think its OK. It’s awesome to be married and just enjoy the time as husband and wife, before the chaos of kids. there is nothing wrong with that! #globalblogging
1 December 2016 at 13:55